(Part 1)
“Do not stick out your booty, lead with your chest!” - Quoc Ngo, 2010
Who would think that this line would inspire me to write this essay? It started this morning with a hearty workout, guided to do correct push-ups “to align my booty with my back and to lead my push-ups using my chest first.”
I immediately saw the wisdom in Quoc’s statements and reinterpreted it as “ Do not start your relationships with lusty appreciation of your booty, but instead, lead your relationships with your heart."
First let me share what it is not in Part I. Then, allow me to share what it should be, in Part II -- lessons I gathered from observing many human conditions.
When I used to work with inept leaders in an organization, they hid behind their insecurities. I had worked in many settings: federal, state, county and city governments for close to three decades, including community service to non-profit boards and professional associations for close to four decades.
Inept leaders emphasize numerical outcomes, insisting on numbers and volumes of work, irrespective of personal circumstances, training, and field situations. It is as if folks are robots, machines that, on their own, would simply operate without motivation and inspiration. Their emphasis on outcomes was sold to others, as their own ‘love for the organization,’ -- that others are viewed as disinterested in the welfare of the organization. Their universe is constructed solely to benefit them.
So, when there is a common activity, they view others as objects, all must obey or comply. If not, they feel entitled to scream, to ridicule, and even humiliate folks in public.
If you take the time to examine their underlying intentions, they carry a personal agenda -- motivated by their blind love to get to the endpoint of what they believe is success, where "their own booties are taken cared of" but not others. No one has to discover their ineptitude or lack of imagination, while folks are busy being angry for being humiliated in public.
But, God is so good. He brings in a process of cleansing misery and suffering away, as a new generation of leaders is installed with superior people skills, to remove the dead and dying bodies on the ground.
When Governor-Elect Jerry Brown announced his recent appointments, he underscored three qualities: an insider’s knowhow, an outsider’s mind and aset of people qualities. He brilliantly reduced to its essence what a state worker must be, to function in the state bureaucracy that has not experienced an abundance of effective, imaginative leadership.
I believe Gov. Brown alluded to leaders with a conscious heart -- the way Gary Hendricks, a psychotherapist, would define a conscious heart with these qualities: tells the truth, keeps agreements and listens non-judgmentally.
Why is telling the truth so important? Truth is the language of the heart and soul. When lies are spoken and repeated to oneself and to others, the soul cringes and moves to the corners of darkness. The depraved mind now starts imagining its own horrific scenarios, harvesting more negative thoughts of others and spirals its own negativity.
It was recently described to me as “ Bad energy of one leader + bad energy of another leader = Evil."
Folks can no longer trust, and somehow the leader attracts folks who encourage negativities to layer on her, as if lace wrapped around her body. She retreats to her isolated universe, capable of pandering only to her wrongful beliefs and inappropriate viewpoints.
There is no love here, not for herself nor for others.
In a recent Desperate Housewives episode (entitled “Pleasant Little Kingdom“) Paul Young was depicted as a malingering neighbor, whose intent is to make everyone pay -- innocent or not -- for what he went through. It is case of “I will make society pay back for the harm I suffered.” He was wrongfully framed for a murder and in his wrongful incarceration, he came upon a pot of gold to settle his lawsuit.
Instead of moving forward, he plots to buy seven houses in Wisteria Lane withplans to convert one into a halfway home for those previously jailed to come back to society. At a neighborhood association meeting, the neighbors impulsively thought they could defeat Paul’s plan with a vote of 14-1.
Paul announced he owns seven houses in the lane and all he needs is one more to have his desired outcome. Earlier in the episode, he said, “I have faith in people, and this is a testament to how I feel about you."
His words are loving. Yet his sinister, evil intentions are lurking underneath. Paul panders to the vulnerable to gain an upper-hand: a laid-off worker, asenior citizen couple, a financially-indebted Susan. He lures them all withabove market price offers, a case of ‘taking care of their booties' first and forgetting they are all bonded with trust in that neighborhood, relying upon one another for advice, support and guidance.
The once united group disintegrates, forgetting their common interest as aunited body. They proceed to put first their narrow self-interests: How much should I sell my house? Should I sell so I can pay off my debts and Mike can come back? How much can I cash in to ‘save my booty?’
At some point, Lynette turns to Paul, “ We are not going to let you destroy this street." Paul responded, “I don’t have to. You are going to do it yourselves. “
How many times have we become a Paul to our community folks? How many times have we considered our booties first and forgot to lead our communities with our conscious hearts? (Part 2 in the next issue)
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